How do you really feel about the people close to you ?
In everybody’s life there comes a point when one question keeps popping in our head and that question gives us many sleepless nights – sometimes in life we face situations that makes us excessively vulnerable and lonely, that is the only time in our life when we rethink and reconsider our relationships. Do you know what that question is? Am I with the right people or am I with the right person? Oh! If I could only explain in words how many times, I too go through the same process over and again- but at the same time I feel blessed that I have become strong enough to not fear the change that ‘reconsideration’ brings.
Why do people fear change?
The simple answer to this question is ‘familiarity’. We meet people, we bond with them, we invest a lot of time in those friendships and relationships and by the time something wrong happens – we fear the process of repeating the whole thing with new people again. Can you relate with this? Sometimes we know the correct thing to do, but we don’t- why? Only because of this. We keep giving chances to people who really don’t deserve to be getting those chances. Do you think it is right to do this and then complain about the things going wrong in your life? No, right? I always advise people to keep one thing in mind while they are trying hard to work on a difficult relationship which they are unable to let go yet- “Become a mindful fool, instead of just a fool”. We all are very much aware with the relevance of this term when it comes to relationships. Each one of us – we compromise for something which might not fall under the moral standards of a relationship. We sometimes hear this from people or say this to people- ‘what are you doing in this relationship?’. You all must have advised at least one friend to not accept something which looks like too much. But then again, the question is do you follow the same advice too when you face the same situation in your life? It’s very easy to advise people but difficult to implement in our own life.
Why becoming a mindful fool is a good thing?
When I look at it from a bigger perspective- I think each one of us, we try to compromise for something or try to become extremely understanding about something which might not be acceptable to people around us. For example- if your close friend knows that your girlfriend is giving you a hard time, then your friend would expect you to let go of that person- because that friend sees you suffering. And still, you try to work on that relationship by not giving up just yet, because maybe you are hopeful that things might change for good. At some point in our lives, we all change something about our being only to eliminate the chances of being a ‘misfit’ in someone’s life- someone who’s very dear to us. This process of choosing that person and changing something about us makes us look like a fool to others. Truth is, each one of us- no matter how smart, how clever, how intelligent, how self- centered we may be – but we still become this ‘fool’ at least once for someone. So, why not become a mindful fool instead of just a fool? Just be aware of everything, be aware of the fact that your actions might hurt you later, be aware of your thoughts and the unpredictable consequences of your actions- because when you’re aware of these things while trying, you will know that you knew it all along that things might not turn out the way you wanted them to be. Above all, learn to stop when needed. Learning to stop is one of the hardest thing to do in life- but before signing up for this kind of hard work -first, teach yourself the lesson to stop.
A little advice.
Our state of mind, our emotions and feelings are largely decided by the people who we surround ourselves with- the relationships that we hold. Whether it’s a happy life, a peaceful life or a messed-up life, it is largely affected by our near and dear ones. So, when you choose someone to be a part of your life- do consider the fact whether they are enhancing your overall growth or deflating it.
