Why did I react so much?
Most of the times we find ourselves in very unpleasant and unwanted situations. Have you ever wondered or questioned yourself – ‘why did I talk like that?’ or ‘why did I react so much?’. There are things that happens in heat of the moment, unknowingly. These are the things that we regret later or the ones that damages our relationships. It mostly happens when you are already in an argument and you just don’t realize how far you’ve gone.
Whenever you find yourself in such a situation – remind yourself to take a pause of two minutes at least- so that you can break the flow of that argument. This is one of the best habits that I started practicing and hence the advice. We fight the most with people who we love the most and the intensity of any feeling or emotion towards our loved ones is stronger than other relationships.
Take 2 minutes pause
Taking a break of 2 minutes is a difficult thing to do in between a fight, because mostly when we are in that situation, we want to say everything that comes to our mind. But once you start practicing the pause, it becomes a part of your behavior. These two minutes buys you and the other person enough time to ease the aggressive tone, to rethink about the choice of words, to remember your true feelings towards that person and to reflect back at the whole situation. There are many things that goes wrong while arguing from our tone to our way of showing emotions, the words that we use, the blame game which starts with it and many more things that comes along.
“Be gentle with your words…”
There’s a very famous saying by Willie Nelson- “Be gentle with your words – you can’t take them back”, no matter how dearly and deeply you feel for someone – but once the damage is done its done. There’s nothing left other than regret. So, instead of regretting about it later- work on it while you can. Break that flow, no matter how desperately you want to say things.
Learn to communicate peacefully
Take a different approach, sit down and talk it out, and if you don’t want to indulge yourself in any kind of conversation with that person- then the best thing to do is to write it to them. Things that we can’t say in words can be written in words. As I have mentioned before we only indulge in high intensity fights with our loved ones and we must find a way to stop damaging our relationships. People do move on from fights or arguments, but it’s the ‘hurtful words’ that stays with them forever.
We always remember the ‘feeling’
We always remember how someone made us feel, we can exactly feel the same way how we felt during a particular phase of our life just by remembering that incident. Be aware of these things and value your words more than anything else. Take two minutes to only reflect, choose the right words for addressing the issue and for expressing yourself. After practicing the pause ask yourself how does it feel now or how many fights you avoided because of this, if you feel good and happy about it and most importantly, if it helped you in your relationships.
